Quote

I have no idea why old people think this, but no one likes dried fruit. No one. Seriously, it’s like taking everything you liked about actual fruit, sucking it out, and then pretending that the sad, withered husk that used to be food is actually a great tasting treat. What’s that? You like sweet, juicy grapes? Well too fucking bad. Here are some raisins. Gnaw on these depressing little nuggets that in no way look like rat shit and try not to think about the fact that it feels like your chewing on a goddamn tire. Bon Appetite.

I can’t remember where I saw this one. If you by any chance happen to know who wrote this, I would gladly put here the source of this quote.

This is how I feel about dried fruits.  Especially raisins. I would rather starve than eat something that was touched by a raisin. I don’t know why I hate them so much, considering the fact that I remember eating them (of course, this can also be my memory playing tricks on me… again; it’s not like it’s the first time that happened t me; deja vu? jamais vu? I hate myself vu?). But that a loooong, loooong time ago… in a different era.

Quote of the day

“I went to a tattoo parlor and had YES written onto the palm of my left hand, and NO onto my right palm, what can I say, it hasn’t made my life wonderful, it’s made life possible, when I rub my hands against each other in the middle of winter I am warming myself with the friction of YES and NO, when I clap my hands I am showing my appreciation through the uniting and parting of YES and NO, I signify “book” by peeling open my hands, every book, for me, is the balance of YES and NO, even this one, my last one, especially this one. Does it break my heart, of course, every moment of every day, into more pieces than my heart was made of, I never thought of myself as quiet, much less silent, I never thought about things at all, everything changed, the distance that wedged itself between me and my happiness wasn’t the world, it wasn’t the bombs and burning buildings, it was me, my thinking, the cancer of never letting go, is ignorance bliss, I don’t know, but it’s so painful to think, and tell me, what did thinking ever do for me, to what great place did thinking ever bring me? I think and think and think, I’ve thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it.“

Extremely loud and incredibly close – Jonathan Safran Foer

(I might as well continue to publish these quotes because I do believe it’s the only way to keep this blog up and running)

Thoughts… and something more

Keep listening to this song… Over and over and over again. I will eventually get tired of it. But now, it’s on repeat.

(I’ve just realized how underrated it is. This one and Even Deeper. And their lyrics… need I say more?)

Today I wanted to do something evil… but, naturally, my plan failed. Like everything I have done recently.

Moreover, I have noticed a connection between my daydreams and the likelihood of  them happening. Just two words: inversely proportional. 😦 I mean it. If I make some long term short-term medium-term plans, something bad MUST happen in the next 2 days (or an hour… a god damned hour; someone or something up there really hates me; don’t worry the feeling is mutual) . Like I’m cursed or something. Fuck it, I do not need this, not now, I have to feed with my illusions otherwise I am left with nothing and my depressed mood will turn on (I’ll swing back out of it in a few hours, or a day or so, but I don’t … don’t know if I can deal with that much pressure, not with all the exams, anyway). Too late, it had already kicked in. Now I have to find something nice to think of just to keep those dark and miserable thoughts away.

(…)We cover ourselves with lies
But underneath we’re not so tough
And love is not enough
(…)
It never really had a chance
We’d never really make it through
I never think I’d believed
I believed I could get better with you

Sometimes, i have everything-
Yet i wish i felt something

Do you know how far this has gone?
Just how damaged have i become?
When i think i can overcome
It runs even deeper

And in a dream I’m a different me
With a perfect you
We fit perfectly
And for once in my life i feel complete-
And i still want to ruin it
Afraid to look
As clear as day
This plan has long been underway

I hear them call
I cannot stay
The voice inviting me away

Do you know how far this has gone?
Just how damaged have I become?
When I think I can overcome
It runs even deeper …
Everything that matters is gone
All the hands of hope have withdrawn
Could you try to help me hang on?
It runs…

* This last week was fairly decent. Yeah, people tried to screw me over or acted like total jackasses who were seriously in need of a punch, but I always woke up with a smile on my face and kept it most of the day. Because I knew someone would greet me with a “Hello dear!”, “Have a nice day!”, “Good morning!”, “Such a nice day, isn’t it?”. It has officially become my new drug.

Quotes

There’s no now, there’s no now, everything is in the near future or the recent past. But there’s no present.

You only have a short time.. Sounds a little terminal doesn’t it?

People use things like kingdom come to measure time.
“I’m gonna be standing here ’till kingdom come…”
“Shit, I don’t have that on my watch.”

George Carlin – Does time bother you?

Think for a moment about the concept of the flamethrower. Okay? The flamethrower. Because we have them. Well, *we* don’t have them, the army has them. That’s right. We don’t have any flamethrowers. I’d say we’re fucked if we have to go up against the army, wouldn’t you? But we have flamethrowers. And what this indicates to me, it means that at some point, some person said to himself, “Gee, I sure would like to set those people on fire over there. But I’m way to far away to get the job done. If only I had something that would throw flame on them.” Well, it might have ended right there, but he mentioned it to his friend. His friend who was good with tools. And about a month later, he was back. “Hey, quite a concept!” WHHOOOOOOOOSSHHH! And of course the army heard about it, and they came around. “We’d like to buy about five hundred-thousand of them please. We have some people we’d like to throw flame on. Give us five hundred thousand and paint them dark brown. We don’t want anyone to see them.”

George Carlin – Flamethrowers

Now I’m making up for yesterday’s lack of Quote(s) of the day.

Quotes

I decided to start a daily column*. As you might have guessed from the title, you’ll find in it quotes that I find amusing, or I really, really love.

*Not sure if it’s going to be daily. I do tend to procrastinate things untill there’s no tomorrow.

So without further ado, the quotes:

-She reads Wuthering Heights for the ‘fun of it’. Good God, I couldn’t even read that book out of self punishment. But it’s so PERFECT for her because…come on. Wuthering Fuckin’ Heights, indeed.

–“His dazzling face was friendly, open, a slight smile on his flawless lips.”

DAZZLING. That is the most dumbass description I’ve ever heard in my life. IT MAKES NO GODDAMN SENSE IN THIS GOOD EARTH. *STAB*

Via Figgy (in the article about the Twilight series)

Anger? Loathe? YES!!!

I know I haven’t been around in quite a while, but I have had a few hectic(just realized how much I use this word around here) weeks. And it’s just the beginning. But today I’m making up for all those days I was away (not really). This post will be about frustrations. Because I have many.

Have you ever been so angry that you felt you might implode if someone or something  ticked you off? Today I wanted to kill a human being… or two… or three… Or, at least, watch him suffer, agonizing and trying desperately to save himself.

But let’s start from the beginning (there isn’t one, but it sort of looks like one).

Last week and the week before it were a “change of scenery” if I might say that. I have met a lot of interesting people, made a few enemies (I hope) and probably shortened my life with a few years. All in the name of science … I don’t know, me being stupid? Wasting my time? Loyalty (because I’m the kind of person who will go all the way, even if I have no pleasure or motivation)? When you’re knee deep in shit, you might as well carry on what you were doing. Even if it’s stupid, time consuming and irritating and won’t help you in the near future (or ever).

But today, ohh.. today was different.

To clear things up, I HATE it when people waste MY TIME. However, I have no problem with me wasting my time, after all I am … well, just me. I have this right. Also, I HATE disorganization, even thought I am a messy/disorganized person,  I HATE other’s bad time management, because it somehow involves my persona  and, hell, I hate the fact that I forget A LOT of things, like what I ate a day before, or what someone was saying 10 minutes before

I forgot what I wanted to write… Oh yeah, and I have the emotional variation of a frickin’ mountain.

Anyway, today someone made me waste 4 precious hours of my life and to top that he behaved like he was superior to me. I do not deny that he is older and has “some” (or none) knowledge in that field, but for crying out loud man, we are not some nasty cockroaches you can just ignore. I wanted to beat him to death, burn his body and then just laugh (Mandark style).

This .. creature, because IN NO WAY he is a man/human is an incompetent, a loser, someone who really sucks at his job. And what really grinds my gear is that he is so arrogant and thinks that he knows it all. Well, let me tell you something! YOU KNOW NOTHING! You are a worthless piece of shit (who happens to wear the same outfit 24/7 with mild variations) who likes to behave like a dick and to treat people with disrespect . (now I am enraged and I’m basically slamming and cussing and throwing things around the house)

I know this post is messy and you probably won’t understand anything, but it felt good to throw some words here and there about this whole… ordeal. I’ll probably finish it… someday. Now I’m procrastinating.

Friendship

I would love to have A spontaneous friend. You know, the type of friend you can call at an obscene hour knowing that he won’t get mad. The type of friend who doesn’t need to plan when you are going to meet or put you in his agenda, who will be there if he can. I need one, because I am one. I am the kind of person who will try to be there for you, who will be at the end of the phone even though it’s past 3AM, with whom you can  hang out without planning it in advance.

I don’t understand, I really do not understand. It’s not that I am not friendly, I can be friendly, perhaps too friendly (maybe this scares people away). And even though I have all these friends, none of them are … like I’d imagined. If I want to get together with some of them, I have to plan it a week in advance. A WEEK. For fuck’s sake, I understand you are busy, but come one, it’s not like you have a job or classes. And it’s not like you live at the end of the world.

Maybe I am too demanding,maybe the movies I used to watch have brainwashed me and turned me into a complete moron who has an idealized version of life, my very own little universe. Maybe I am weird, although I don’t look that weird on the outside. Who knows? If I could only read people’s mind… I wouldn’t be here, I’d be owning a small island somewhere in the Pacific Ocean.

Excuse this post about my crippling loneliness, but today I am a very depressive/melancholic person. For now. Tomorrow I’ll act like nothing happened and be my old self.

Oh, and before I go, I’ll leave you with my favourite chapter from The Little Prince written by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. It is more than I could express in words about friendship.

It was then that the fox appeared.

“Good morning,” said the fox.

“Good morning,” the little prince responded politely, although when he turned around he saw nothing.

“I am right here,” the voice said, “under the apple tree.”

“Who are you?” asked the little prince, and added, “You are very pretty to look at.”

“I am a fox,” said the fox.

“Come and play with me,” proposed the little prince. “I am so unhappy.”

“I cannot play with you,” the fox said. “I am not tamed.”

“Ah! Please excuse me,” said the little prince.

But, after some thought, he added:

“What does that mean– ‘tame’?”

“You do not live here,” said the fox. “What is it that you are looking for?”

“I am looking for men,” said the little prince. “What does that mean– ‘tame’?”

“Men,” said the fox. “They have guns, and they hunt. It is very disturbing. They also raise chickens. These are their only interests. Are you looking for chickens?”

“No,” said the little prince. “I am looking for friends. What does that mean– ‘tame’?”

“It is an act too often neglected,” said the fox. It means to establish ties.”

“‘To establish ties’?”

“Just that,” said the fox. “To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world…”

“I am beginning to understand,” said the little prince. “There is a flower… I think that she has tamed me…”

“It is possible,” said the fox. “On the Earth one sees all sorts of things.”

“Oh, but this is not on the Earth!” said the little prince.

The fox seemed perplexed, and very curious.

“On another planet?”

“Yes.”

“Are there hunters on this planet?”

“No.”

“Ah, that is interesting! Are there chickens?”

“No.”

“Nothing is perfect,” sighed the fox.

But he came back to his idea.

“My life is very monotonous,” the fox said. “I hunt chickens; men hunt me. All the chickens are just alike, and all the men are just alike. And, in consequence, I am a little bored. But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the colour of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat…”

The fox gazed at the little prince, for a long time.

“Please– tame me!” he said.

“I want to, very much,” the little prince replied. “But I have not much time. I have friends to discover, and a great many things to understand.”

“One only understands the things that one tames,” said the fox. “Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready-made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more. If you want a friend, tame me…”

“What must I do, to tame you?” asked the little prince.

“You must be very patient,” replied the fox. “First you will sit down at a little distance from me– like that– in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day…”

The next day the little prince came back.

“It would have been better to come back at the same hour,” said the fox. “If, for example, you come at four o’clock in the afternoon, then at three o’clock I shall begin to be happy. I shall feel happier and happier as the hour advances. At four o’clock, I shall already be worrying and jumping about. I shall show you how happy I am! But if you come at just any time, I shall never know at what hour my heart is to be ready to greet you… One must observe the proper rites…”

“What is a rite?” asked the little prince.

“Those also are actions too often neglected,” said the fox. “They are what make one day different from other days, one hour from other hours. There is a rite, for example, among my hunters. Every Thursday they dance with the village girls. So Thursday is a wonderful day for me! I can take a walk as far as the vineyards. But if the hunters danced at just any time, every day would be like every other day, and I should never have any vacation at all.”